It’s going to snow this weekend on the east coast, which can only mean one thing: every single person from Richmond to Boston went to the grocery store today to stock up on milk, bread, and eggs. To be perfectly honest, I don’t really understand why these three items are so crucial; I feel like alcohol is so much more important in emergencies. You can use it to get drunk and to disinfect. Can you say the same about milk? No. No you can not.

Which is why my one pre-blizzard stop was the liquor store, where I picked up two boxes of cheap red wine. Because I’m classy like that.

Anyway…

Having spent my entire life here in not-quite-New England but definitely-not-Dixie, I’ve become rather familiar with the ruse that is the winter weather report. For a few days, everyone’s all ‘oh my god it’s going to be the end of the world!’ And then there’s a brief period of sanity. ‘It appears to be going out to sea’, they all say. Then, less than 36 hours before the alleged snow-pummeling is set to begin, it’s all ‘oh my god we are going to be snow-pummeled! Get your milk, bread, and eggs now! THE SNOW-PUMMELING IS ABOUT TO COMMENCE! HOLY SHIT! DUCK AND COVER!!!!’

And then there are few flurries late one night, which melt before anyone wakes up.

Thus, for all of my Richmond-to-Boston-living friends, here’s my favorite recipe to use up all of that excess milk, bread, and eggs. If you also stocked up on wine–and I hope you did–you can drink it whilst cooking.

Bread and Butter Savory*

This is the best way to use up all of your ingredients at once. It is also just damn good

What is a savory, you ask? Think of it as a salty-not-sweet bread pudding. Or a cheesy-not-syrupy French toast casserole. Or as what it is, which is a damn good way to use up milk, bread, and eggs.

*No photo because it didn’t not-snow yet so I’m not making it yet. You know, to conserve my milk, bread, and eggs.  Also, holy double-negatives, Batman. 

Ingredients

milk

bread

eggs

butter

cheese (ideally shredded)

green onions (optional but ideal)

Directions

-butter a small casserole dish.

-beat eggs with an equal amount of milk; season with salt and peppset aside.

-remove crusts from bread, line dish with a single layer of crust-less bread.

-melt butter in skillet, add diced green onions and cook for a minute or two.

-pour half of butter/onion mixture on top of bread, top with half of cheese and half of egg/milk mixture.

-repeat with an additional layer of bread, butter/onions and eggs/milk.

-bake, covered, at 350 for 20 minutes.

-remove cover, bake an additional 10 minutes or until puffy and golden brown.

-cut into squares–like a lasagna–and serve, while watching the sun shine upon your snow-free street.

Other Milk, Bread, and Egg Options

• Make a pasta pizza with leftover spaghetti. Simply mix eggs and milk together and pour over a skillet of cooked, leftover spaghetti. Place under broiler until set, then flip.  Top with leftover pasta sauce and shredded mozzarella cheese. Broil until bubbly and serve. Serve with garlic bread if you’d like. Because carbs.
• Prep for the upcoming work week by making omelette muffins. Spray muffin or cupcake tins with non-stick spray, fill with leftover protein or veggies, and then pour an egg/milk mixture over all. Bake until (again) lightly brown and puffy. Place in freezer bags and refrigerate. To reheat, place in microwave for no more than 30 seconds. Top with hot sauce and enjoy.
• Enjoy croque madame for breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Make a quick cream sauce by cooking equal parts butter or oil and flour, then adding milk. Simmer until thick. Add a small amount of any kind of cheese. Spread cream sauce on bread as though it were mayo and you were making a sandwich, then build a ham and cheese sandwish. Grill like a grilled cheese sandwich. Top with a fried egg. Enjoy with fork and knife.

Or, you know–you could just make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and let the eggs and milk curdle and rot. That would work too.

Mmmmm. Peanut butter and jelly sandwich….